Woman Discovers Literally The Worst Thing Ever: She Married Her Brother

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File this one under “stories that will keep me up all night, forever.”

True love is hard to find. Imagine finding Mr. Right, a beautiful, wonderful, supportive man. You both lost your mother at a young age to abandonment and found comfort in one another through your shared pain. But then you found out that your issues are even more closely related than you thought–you were both abandoned by the same mother, making you brother and sister.

I just threw up in my mouth a lot. Does that not scare the bajeezus out of you?

Well, that’s exactly what happened to a Brazilian woman named Adriana, who went on a quest to find her long, lost birth mother. She turned to a Brazilian radio show known as “The Time Is Now,” which specializes in reuniting lost family members. Adriana found out that her mother, who she hadn’t seen since she was one, had another son who she abandoned: Adriana’s husband, Leandro. When he was eight, Leandro learned that the woman he thought was his mother was actually his stepmother.

How very “Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia” of them.

The two got together a decade ago, after Adriana moved back to her hometown in the wake of a failed marriage. United by a shared quest to find their birth mothers, Leandro and Adriana have been married for seven years and even have a child together.

Adriana apparently told Radio Globo, the company that produces “The Time is Now,” that she and Leandro are NOT getting divorced, but staying together. “Only death is going to separate us,” she said. “All this happened because God wanted it to happen.”

I can’t help but think of the scene from “Joe Dirt” where Joe has sex with Jaime Pressly’s character, even though he knew that she could be his sister. You know what scene I’m talking about.

Somewhere in Connecticut, Maury is seething with anger that he couldn’t have broken this story himself. “Do you think your husband might actually be your long, lost brother? Come be a guest on ‘Maury.’ ”

[via Time]

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New York's Hottest Club is wherever I am. Haters to the front, hunky Sailors to the back. Bow down betches. Follow this bitch on Twitter @StefonTSM

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