Woman Gets Married For First Time At 80 Years Old, Makes White Girls Everywhere Say “Same.”


Wow, you guys. You know how you’re always like “LOL, #ForeverAlone” but you’re secretly kidding, because you think you’re a nice, normal, cute-ish girl who’s probably going to get married eventually. I mean, sure, every once in awhile, in the deep parts of your mind, you get scared that you might actually be the last of your friends to the altar, but still, you think that means you’ll be like, 35 or something — which is terrifying enough.

Well Maria Teresa Cobar, 80, was literally the LAST one to get married, as she said her “I dos” this week for the first time. The first time. At 80. Like it took her 80 years to find a man.

Her husband, Carlos Victor Suarez is an ~older man.~ At 95 years old, he met his bride to be at the Aventura Plaza Rehabilitation and Nursing Center in Miami. He told The Miami Herald “It was love at first sight. When I saw her my heart filled with joy.”

The pair met eight months ago and began spending every day together since. They’re now able to move to the center’s honeymoon suite so they can be together.

Maria is feeling very optimistic and happy that she’s found love:
“I’ve been lonely for many years, this is a great blessing from God. It feels wonderful. I feel butterflies in my stomach. It is never too late to find love.”

The rest of the internet is pretending this is sweet and hopeful, but honestly, it’s just depressing that you could possibly go EIGHTY YEARS without anyone wanting to lock you down. I used to think that it would just ~happen~ for everyone eventually, but if I have to swipe for another half a century before I meet the LOML, then I quit.
[via The Miami Herald]

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at

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