There are a lot of weird trends when it comes to dating and sex these days. Married couples are swinging, titty fucking is on every guy’s bucket list, and “eating the booty like groceries” is apparently a thing. Despite all this, I was really hoping that beastiality would continue to be frowned upon by the general population. Apparently, that expectation was in vain.
Hoards of women are heading to a Japanese zoo, just to see a famously “handsome” gorilla. His name is Shabani, he’s eighteen years old, and no one is paying attention to the fact that he is, in fact, a wild animal. They’re calling him “Ikemen,” which loosely translates to “hot young guy,” or “what the fuck is happening here” to those of us who appreciate the sanctity of genuine, human men.
#Shabani's nickname 'is #Ikemen (young extremely handsome guy)
He has the ladies flocking to Japan's #HigashiyamaZoo pic.twitter.com/mH0ursgML5
— Martin Horan (@MartinHoran1) June 26, 2015
People think that the gorilla is aware of the fact that he’s so popular, because he seems to strike a pose and gaze directly into cameras.
Okay. Sure. I will admit that there was a time I had a crush on Kovu from “The Lion King 2,” because I was a child and I didn’t seem to register that he was a lion. But that’s because I was a kid. These are grown ass women going crazy over this gorilla. There’s just no excuse. Shibani is definitely a beautiful animal, but no one, and I mean no one, should be crushing on an ape.
I’m guessing the guy-to-girl ratio in Japan is really off or something, because otherwise, this craze is completely unwarranted and really icky. Beastiality is not cool, people. I’m upset that I even have to say that. .
[via Daily Mail]
Image via Shutterstock
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Lucky Jo
Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.
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