Have you ever looked at an actor and thought to yourself, “I would totally ‘accidentally on purpose’ get pregnant with him?” Yes. Duh. Actors are gifts from the Hollywood gods to distract us from the shitty guys who actually exist in the world. Unfortunately, our dream of hooking up with one of these angels will never come true since we’re too busy getting sloppy at college bars and the actors are too busy being successful and adopting babies from other countries. But finally, in true “Win A Date With Tad Hamilton” fashion, we have the chance to make our slutty dreams a reality.
Max Greenfield, who plays Schmidt on the television show “New Girl,” is whoring himself out to the world. Sure, the contest is to be “Schmidt’s roommate for a day” and in no way does it advertise intercourse, but if I know anything about Greenfield’s character on the show, the lucky gal who wins has a really solid shot at making him her future baby daddy.
— New Girl (@NewGirlonFOX) January 14, 2015
Basically, you just go online and donate money (anything from $10 to $25,000 — chump change, really). This enters you into the contest, and if you win, you and a friend get to fly out to Los Angeles. Once you’re there, you’ll apparently get to do all sorts of fun things like take selfies, refill water pitchers, and hang out with the cast of “New Girl.” It’s great, because you get to brag about the fact that you did voluntary charity work while breathing the same air as a really sexy yet adorably awkward television character. Oh, and all of the proceeds help people or something.
The contest ends in a few days, so you better get your submissions in ASAP. Or don’t. That means I have a better chance of winning..
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