Thanks to that one film “Fifty Types Of Off-White” or something, everyone and her mother (seriously) wants in on the sex. They want the kinky sex. They want the romantic sex. And most importantly, they want the DIY sex. The only problem is, people ran out of stuff to get themselves off with. I mean, that’s the only explanation as to why people are suddenly screwing their stuffed animals. Because what the actual fuck?

That’s right. After a countless number of vibrators, phallic objects, and personal body parts had been used to get the female population off, one woman decided to mix things up. The things she’s mixing? Our favorite childhood friend and masturbating, of course.

Enter: Teddy Love, the teddy bear with a vibrating nose that makes getting off a whole lot weirder.

According to the website, creator Wendy Adams got the idea when she was cuddling one of her teddy bears on a cold, lonely night.

I started thinking if his nose vibrated this would be really erotic. Then, my husband came downstairs and … we started playing around with the teddy together, laughing and giggling. The rest is pillow talk and history.

Personally, I find this whole thing a bit off-putting. Why is she fooling around with an inanimate object while her husband is in the other room? Why is the object a teddy bear? Doesn’t the fur from the bear go, like, up in places we work hard to get rid of hairs? Even though the website says that the slutty teddy bear is easy to clean, something just feels dirty about the whole thing. If you’re more adventurous than I am (or just a hell of a lot lonelier) and you want to get in on this stuffed animal sex romp, head on over to Teddy Love. For the low price of just $74.95 you can literally have sex with a toy, because intimacy hasn’t gotten weird enough yet.

You know the old saying, “You can’t have your teddy bear and fuck it, too”? No? Me either, but I totally think it should be a thing..

[via Teddy Love]

Image via Shuttershock

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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