We all fantasize about cruel things we wish we could do to smite the people that we hate. Glitter bombs proved to be a viable option for awhile, but people have since decided that this form of revenge is much too fabulous for the undeserving twats on the receiving end. The newest form of revenge is much more inappropriate, and therefore, much more our style.
For $15.99, Dicks By Mail will let you anonymously send a bag of dicks to anyone you hate. Their website tells you that this is “the easiest way to send that feeling to anyone in your life that deserves that feeling of sadness, disappointment, and betrayal.” They also included this video, for emphasis, we think.
Obviously the dicks aren’t real, because this is America and we don’t do that shit here. They’re gummies, and despite their tasteful disposition, they’ll probably get the job done. If not, the company also attaches a note saying, “eat a bag of dicks,” which is exactly what I told my ex when he decided to see other people without telling me. I will admit that it seems redundant to send candy to someone you hate, but I assume that the gummies are some type of collateral to make the recipient feel better that someone hates them enough to spend $15.99 just to prove it. Regardless, you can bet your ass that as of today, I am officially fifteen dollars poorer and exponentially happier.
[via Pixable]
Image via Youtube
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Lucky Jo
Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.
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