You Have To Exercise 5 Hours A Week To Combat The Harmful Effects Of Regular Drinking


Drinking with a busy schedule is hard. What with your academic obligations and a thousand mandatory sorority events, it’s hard to find time to sleep, much less a totally free night to drink away the stress. I guess when you think about it, it’s not necessarily figuring out times to get drunk that’s the problem, but rather scrambling to do all the shit you have to do when you’re too hungover to function. College is fun, but man, does it really take every ounce of energy to find time for it all.

And now you have a new commitment, because according to a study by University College London and the University of Sydney, you need to exercise a minimum of five hours per week to decrease the negative side effects of regular drinking. Researchers analyzed data from 36,370 adults who answered question relating to weekly alcohol consumption and exercise, and found the following incredibly disappointing results:

The relationship between drinking alcohol to excess and increased risk of death is significantly weaker in people who are physically active. Therefore, it appears that physical activity may partially offset some of the harmful effects of drinking, particularly alcohol-attributable cancers.

Well, shit. I guess we all knew this day was coming, because these are some pretty obvious findings. Of course the chick who wakes up Sunday morning and takes a run to sweat out all the vodka crans is going to be better off than the girl who devours an entire pizza and spends 8 hours recovering in a dark room. I sort of hate these sons of bitches for verbalizing this evident info, but I totally trust their judgment. The people they tested were from England and Scotland, and if there’s anything Europeans continually excel at, it’s drinking. They’re living the permanent college life overseas, and now we have to stop partying, because who the hell has five spare hours to spare every week?

I guess I can find the time, because giving up on booze just isn’t an option for me. Mama needs her margaritas, and if I have to sacrifice another area of my life to make room for the exercise to combat the consequences, so be it. I wasn’t that into the last hour and a half of my work day, anyway.

[via Elite Daily]

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Lucky Jo

Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to

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