“God, you are so sexy. You’re absolutely stunning. I’ve never met anyone like you,” he coos as he slowly unclips your bra.
Why he still talking? You think to yourself as you mentally reject all of the compliments he’s dishing out. You push him down into the bed, tug his pants off, and start seductively sliding down his body. You hear him gasp as your mouth closes around him. Anything to make the talking stop talking. But he doesn’t stop.
“I was staring at you all night,” he hisses between clenched teeth.
Dammit. You stop what you are doing, plant a kiss on his mouth, and hop on top. You’ve been down this road before and you are not going there again. You are wise, you are smart, and you know what will happen at the end of this night. You will go your separate ways and never speak again. Despite how amazing he says you are, and no matter how much he insists he’ll call, you know your phone will remain silent for the next few days. You know you’ll never see him again.
This is a one night stand. And while the night begins with a lot of flirting and meaningless compliments, you know that he is just saying them to get into your pants — and you’re fine with that. You want that. Sex is the end game and once the deal has been sealed you prefer the only thing coming out of his mouth to be occasional dirty talk and a lot of moaning. Because let’s face it you, you didn’t go out to find love tonight. You went out to get laid, and more importantly, to get a story to tell your friends.
And as predicted, the next day your friend asks you how it went. You shrug and tell her that you humped the boy into to submission, he finished, you didn’t, but it was okay — he is just another conquest to you, like you are to him. This is a one night stand. It is meaningless. It’s nothing.
Your friend then proceeds to tell you about her night. She had also met a guy at the bar. This guy proceeded to tell her all the same things the last guy did. “You’re so amazing. I had to come talk to you. I’ve never met anyone like you.” And he managed to flirt his way into her bed.
“We had sex all night, and then we just held each other and talked,” she sighed into her coffee. “It was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.”
You struggle to hold down your breakfast after almost vomiting three times during this story. She tells you he was only in town for the night but he has friends in the area and plans on coming back to visit. She stares longingly at her phone. You know she is waiting for the text. The one that will convince her that he really is different. That this time is different. Maybe you’re cynical and this guy really will call your friend, but you have been around the block a few times and you know how this will generally pan out.
They will exchange some messages over the next few days and then eventually he will stop responding. She’ll be sad and disappointed. She’ll wonder what’s going on and she’ll stalk his social media nonstop. She’s cry and be angry, but eventually, she’ll stop texting, and they will never speak again.
Why will this happen, you ask? The answer is simple. Your one night stand is not in love with you. He tells you the exact same thing he told the girl he fucked last weekend and the one he’ll get with this weekend. And the fact that he didn’t totally blow you off right away and instead laid in bed and talked to you all night is because you kept right on giving him what he wanted. You kept stroking his penis ego. This man is smooth. This man has skill. Oh, you just broke up with someone? What a coincidence he did too. Oh, you love to run marathons? What a coincidence he just ran one last week. Oh, you’re really feeling *something* here? So is he, baby. So is he.
The truth is that while all women are unique and sexy and amazing in our ways, he has probably met someone like you before. Or something he thinks is like you. In fact, he’s chatting with her on Tinder right now. Your one night stand is not in love with you. I cannot stress this enough. Your one night stand is not in love with you. While I’m sure he was fabulous in bed and has a six pack, the chances of you seeing him again are about the same as your chances of not getting sent to standards after dancing on a bar. So you look across the table at your friend with her big hopeful eyes. You want to tell her the truth, but why should she be all dark and twisted inside like you are? So you take a drink of your coffee, put a smile on your face, and tell her how wonderful it is that she met such a nice guy. You nod your head as she smiles and blushes, telling you all the great things about him and you wish that she knew the truth.
But instead, you hold her hand when he doesn’t text back. You pass her a shot when he posts a picture with another girl. And you warn her the next time before she invites a guy into her bed and her heart. Your one night stand is not in love with you, and odds are, he never will be..
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