6. He Has Unkempt Hair
On most guys, I think facial hair of any kind is disgusting (particularly just a mustache), but there are those rare occasions when a guy can rock a beard, and he actually looks awesome. With that said, it is important to realize, that neglecting to shave your face for six days in a row does not a beard make. In fact, it just makes you look like a dirtbag with an old lady vagina growing on your face. If you want to keep facial hair, and you can do so properly, you are probably going to be totally well-respected. Who doesn’t respect a guy with a great beard? I’ve never kissed one before and I’m really confused as to what it would be like…but they look manly at least. I’d venture to say it takes more effort than a clean shave, because the shape is super important, and hint hint…you still need to shave (like your neck and cheeks or else my God, so gross I could die). And while we’re on the subject of hair…obviously the frat swoop should be perfectly coiffed but more importantly, unruly body hair is pretty gnarly. Take care of it. You don’t have to be model bald, but if I can run my fingers through your chest or back hair, or God forbid your pubes are giving your peen a run for its money in length…trim it. Please and thank you. Gross.
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at [email protected]
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