Ah the holidays. The time for being with loved ones, stressing about presents, and making your boyfriend fall even more in love with you in the hopes that a diamond ring is awaiting you. If you have a special someone this year, don’t let the holiday season pass you by without having some fun! Here are some cool, sexy ways to shake things up in your relationship this season. Trust me, he’ll love it.

1. The Rudolph
   • Ask him to wear a shiny red ball on his nose.
   • Make fun of him and don’t let him play any games.
   • Ask him to drive you to the mall like nothing happened.
2. The Dance of The Texting-Ho Faries
   • Have him take off all of his clothes.
   • Bring out your nutcracker.
   • Tell him to hand you his phone.
3. The Christmas Wish
   • Ask him to dress up as Santa.
   • Sit on his lap.
   • When he asks what you want for Christmas, tell him “commitment.”
4. The Building Of The Holiday Cheer
   • Make a gingerbread house with your guy.
   • Every time you add something, comment on how great it will look on your real house someday.
   • Ask him when he’s buying you a house.
5. The Loyalty To The Mrs.
   • Dress up as a slutty elf.
   • Tell him he’s Santa.
   • Confess that you’ve been a ho ho ho.
   • When he comes on to you, start crying and ask him how he could do that to Mrs. Claus.
   • Have a seven hour talk defining cheating.
6. The Gift That Keeps On Giving
   • Buy yourself an engagement ring.
   • Wrap it up and bring it to a White Elephant party.
   • Tell the bf that he should totally pick your gift because it’s the best.
   • Once he has it, steal it back from him.
   • BOOM! You’re engaged.
7. The Present Exchange
   • Put on sexy lingerie with a bow on top of your head.
   • Tell him he can unwrap you after he gives you your present.
   • Open his present, hate it, and make him return it on the spot.
8. The Reverse Christmas
   • Tell him you don’t want anything for the holidays.
   • Get mad when he doesn’t get you anything for the holidays.
9. The I’m Leaving Even Thought It’s Cold Outside
   • Go to his house on a cold, snowy night.
   • When it starts to get late, cuddle into him and say you need to go home.
   • Wait until he tells you to stay, because, you know, it’s too cold out there.
   • Lecture him for 45 minutes about how you have the right to go home whenever you want and that you’re NOT going to give up your morals due to weather and you are NOT taking his shit.
10. The Chosen Puppy
    • Go to the local animal shelter (#AdoptNotShop).
    • Rescue a puppy for him.
    • When he gets mad, yell at him for supporting puppy mills.
    • Whisper in his ear that it’s a practice baby.
11. The Peppermint Job
    • He asks for a blow job.
    • Have him strip naked.
    • Using lipstick, paint his penis like a candy cane.
    • Tell him it’s cute, because it sort of has a curve on the end.
    • When he asks you to suck it, tell him that you don’t really like candy canes and honestly it’s just empty calories.
    • Make him wash it off.
12. The List
    • Tell him you’re making a list.
    • Write down all of the naughty things he’s done to you this past year.
    • Check it twice.
    • Refight over everything you’ve already fought over.
13. The Ghost Of Christmas Future
    • Tell him you want to play house.
    • Put on heels and an apron.
    • Bake him cookies.
    • When he tries to seduce you, tell him you have a headache so “not tonight.”
    • Eat all of the cookies and live happily ever after.

Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good fight..

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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