15 Shockingly Easy Ways To Make 2015 Your Bitch

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As we close the door on 2014 and open up the one to 2015, the possibilities are endless. There are so many new things we can experience, new people we can meet, and new places we can go. Since there are tons of lists of potential resolutions for you on the internet, here are some suggestions of things you can do in the new year to absolutely dominate 2015.

1. Pick A Signature Drink
Last weekend, I met one of my friends at the bar. When I walked in, my drink of choice (raspberry vodka and sprite, in case you ever see me out and feel generous) was sitting on the bar, just waiting for me. I asked him how he knew, and his response was that I always get the same thing. Maybe that’s boring, but if it means my friends will have drinks waiting for me when I arrive places, I’m sticking with it. He also ordered me a shot of Fireball without me having to ask, so now I’m trying to convince him to marry me, but that’s a story for another time.

2. Delete His Number
You know who I mean. Him. The asshat who caused you to spend most of 2014 in alternate states of depression and euphoria. By delete, I don’t mean write his number down on a Post-it and hide it in your nightstand for “emergencies.” I mean completely delete. No record of it at all. No way to drunk text. If you feel particularly bold, block his number, too — but I don’t want to push you too far.

3. Actually, Delete Him All Together
There’s a definite feeling of freedom when we finally just remove someone from our lives — including virtually. So unfriend, unfollow, untag, and move on. If he didn’t figure out how amazing you were in 2014, he doesn’t deserve to be in your life in 2015.

4. Stop Dieting
This is the number one New Year’s resolution of people around the world, and I’m telling you not to do it? That’s right. Just stop. Stop Paleo. Stop juice cleanses. Stop whatever combo of berries and twigs you’re eating this week. Just stop and eat sensibly. Really, that’s it. Eat everything and anything you want in moderation and drink a shit-ton of water. If you feel the need to do something, use an app to keep track of your intake and make sure you aren’t eating more than you think you are. Even if you don’t do that, I swear to God that simple moderation works. I lost 70 pounds this year once I stopped making myself fucking crazy with whatever the latest diet fad was and just paid attention to portion sizes.

5. Cancel Your Gym Membership
Nothing annoys me more than a sea of new people who show up at the gym on January 2 because their resolution was to work out more. Last year, I couldn’t handle waiting for a treadmill, so I quit the gym. That’s right, I quit the gym. It wasn’t quite as difficult as Ross and Chandler made it out to be, although I did need to close my checking account. Instead, I started running and biking outside; when the weather turned shitty, I started using free workout apps and videos online at home. And you know what? I’m in better shape than I’ve ever been in before. Plus, the money I saved on my gym membership allowed me to…

6. Start An Emergency Fund
Totally boring, I know. But you’ll thank me when your car shits the bed the same week you have to buy your books, I promise.

7. Try A Disconnected Day Now And Then
I’m not going to tell you this was easy when I gave it a try, but it was totally worth it to take a break from all the crazy that comes from my iPhone and focus on what was going on around me. When you feel that things are getting a little bit out of control, give it a try.

8. Hit On A Dude Who’s Way Out Of Your League
No matter how hot you are, there is always a guy who you think is out of your league. In 2015, let’s start thinking that there’s no one who is too good for us, because there isn’t. That really hot guy in your history lecture or the yummy frat dude across the bar? Go for it. If he’s not interested, it’s his loss, because you’re fabulous.

9. Let Someone Who’s “Beneath” You Hit On You
On the flip side, we’ve all been hit on at the bar by a guy who we thought we were too classy or smart for. The bottom line is that you never know what someone is really like until you actually talk to him. The next time that guy in the tacky T-shirt tries to talk you up, maybe give him a chance. Who knows? You may find something great.

10. Weed Out Your Friend List — In Real Life
We all have shitty friends we keep around for reasons we don’t understand, but after going back and reading our guide for dealing with them, the question becomes “Why do we keep these self-involved energy-suckers in our life to begin with?” May 2015 be the year we are actually only friends with people we like.

11. Be The Hair Flip Emoji Girl
The hair flip emoji girl is my spirit animal. You can just tell she embodies the IDGAF attitude that I want. You know she doesn’t care if that guy didn’t text her back or that she showed up at a party in jeggings and boots when everyone else was in a dress. She is who she is and she’s good with that. All I want for 2015 is her confidence. Teach me your ways, hair flip emoji girl.

12. Have A Solo Dance Party At Least Once A Week
Maybe it’s your cardio for the day. Maybe you find it to be a good stress reliever. Maybe you’re practicing your moves for next week’s date party. Whatever the reason, turning up the music and shaking that ass all by your lonesome can lift a mood like nothing else. In case you need some suggestions, here’s a song list to get you started.

13. Craft For Yourself
I must admit, I was formerly not the craftiest of girls, but in the last year, I embraced the universal sorority girl tradition of glitter, ribbon, and glue guns. I made everything from a wine cork monogram for my Secret Santa to a state picture frame for a friend who moved away. While crafts make great (and cheap) gifts, there’s something to be said for creating things that you keep for yourself. For every thing you make for someone else, make something for yourself, too.

14. Don’t Make Any New Year’s Resolutions
I’m giving you a list of 15 things to do next year and yet telling you not to make any resolutions? That’s right — this list is about making 2015 your bitch, not about making resolutions for self-improvement. No “new year, new me” bullshit. You, just as you are RIGHT NOW, are pretty fucking awesome.

15. Be Brave, Be Bold, Be Amazing
If you do nothing else on this list in 2015, do this. Be confident in who you are and don’t let fear hold you back from kicking some ass this year. Here’s to you in 2015!

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, and documenting her love of all things cheese related. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at [email protected].

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