Being low maintenance shouldn’t be confused with being lazy. I’d just rather spend my free time drinking, eating too much Panera mac and cheese (if that’s even possible), and hanging out with the people who have become my family than worry about keeping my nails perfectly manicured. No hate to my high maintenance sisters, but being low maintenance in a world of ultra-feminine and glamorous sorority girls poses its own unique set of dilemmas.

1. You had the Norts and T-shirt combo mastered long before rush–you probably rocked it in high school while your peers looked down on your ineptitude to look like a functioning member of society.
2. Sephora is always a traumatic experience. A sales assistant asking what you’re looking for is your worst nightmare, I don’t know, makeup? A sense of purpose? Besides, what the fuck are all these different brushes supposed to do?
3. Waiting for your sisters to finish getting ready for a night out feels like a lifetime. Oh well, more time to pre-game.
4. For some reason, guys think you’re easier to please. Um, I like fancy dinners and diamonds, too, asshole.
5. You tried winged eyeliner and it failed. Miserably.
6. You tried red lipstick and it failed. Miserably.
7. Your more makeup-experienced sisters always volunteer to help you get ready for formals, socials, or a big date. Bless them for assisting you and still finding time to look hot.
8. How one “does” her hair, much less spends two hours on it, is still a mystery to you. You brushed it and it’s clean, isn’t that enough?
9. Someone has pointed out that you have repeated an outfit at least one. How many wardrobe combinations am I expected to have, people?
10. The amount of times you’ve gone bra-less to class, the grocery store, or out on a fro-yo run would make your mother cringe.
11. Heels are the best way for you to end up making an unexpected hospital visit. Mix heels and alcohol and you’ll be lucky if you make it home alive, seriously.
12. Leggings are appropriate date attire–hey, nothing else makes your ass look better.
13. Your rush chair has had a talk with you about representing your chapter with “more conscious and pulled together” fashion choices…or she’s just told you to stop dressing like a “fucking homeless person.” Sorry, not sorry.
14. You’ll drink literally anything you can get your hands on.
15. On the rare occasion you wear a dress, your friends act like they’ve seen the second coming of Christ.
16. You prefer staying in and watching Netflix with a bottle of wine and your little rather than going out, and you aren’t ashamed to admit it.
17. You’ve mastered trimming your own hair in the mirror, $100 salon appointments be damned.

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