It seems like just yesterday it was summer. The birds were chirping and you were trying to find ways to get out of going to pools parties because even with your trendy new one piece swimsuit, pool parties still suck. Oh, wait. That literally was yesterday. And today for most people. Because despite the fact that the calendar, society, and the moon or whatever, says that it’s still summer, we know the truth.
The second it hits September 1, fall is in session. And with fall comes all of the fall activities we (and our Instagrams) have been waiting for. Why wait to celebrate the absolute best time of the year? Here are the best fall date ideas you can do with your boyfriend, your sort-of-boyfriend, your almost boyfriend, your imaginary boyfriend, or whoever else you conned into hanging out with you. Sure, the sun is still shining and you still sweat every time you walk outside, but the second some other bitch posts a picture with a pumpkin, you’ll wish you would have done it first.
1. Pumpkin Patch
The most basic of all date ideas, the pumpkin patch is a must. While a lot of people will go with sisters or friends who don’t mind taking 45 pictures of you straddling a pumpkin you’re not going to buy (and btw still make sure to do this, at least for the ‘gram), there’s a lot of potential being wasted here. Going to a pumpkin patch with a boyfriend (or potential boyfriend) is a classic stepping stone every serious relationship must take. Will you two be able to agree on a pumpkin? How does he feel about posing on a pile of hay? Will he buy you the biggest one or make you go halfsies on a shitty medium-sized number? You know what they say — first comes the pumpkin, then comes the ring and the commitment.
2. Pumpkin Carving (Or Painting, Calm Down)
If going to a pumpkin patch is the first step in a relationship, carving a pumpkin together is the next big leap. Something about turning on a scary movie, sipping some Fireball cider, and plunging your hands into pumpkin guts is the perfect fall aphrodisiac. It doesn’t matter if you got the pumpkin at a grocery story or a fall festival (but I vote the festival). It doesn’t matter if you suck at carving it. And it doesn’t matter if you paint your gourd instead because the thought of actually cutting it open grosses you TF out. All that matters is that you’re getting down and dirty with a hot guy, and can also cook pumpkin seeds later and be #domestic.
3. Cooking
If you’re not cooking with a guy, then, well, you’re probably not getting in fights over how much garlic to add to sauce. But still, cooking together is actually really romantic and ensures that you’ll be fed — both wins. Look up a recipe, get a bottle of wine, put on old romantic music, and throw flour on each other or whatever. Think of this is your own personal romcom. Except in this one, you can add a shit ton of cheese to whatever you’re making and turn down sex later when you’re way too bloated to bang. Ah, love.
4. Watch A Scary Movie
There’s nothing quite like popping in a scary movie, cuddling into a guy, and sobbing hysterically all night when you can’t get the image of possessed children out of your head. Or you know, you have sex. Either way. If you’re not a total baby, throw on your favorite scary movie (or research some classics) and use this as an excuse to have human contact. Plus, if it turns out he’s a baby, you’ll learn this quickly and be able to cut your losses. If he can’t handle a slasher movie, how will he handle your “accidental” pregnancy someday?
5. Watch A Scary Series Together
The only thing better than watching a scary movie together is watching a scary series together. You get the same rush, the same heart-pounding moments, and the same excuse to have random couch makeouts, but for an extended period of time. If you ever need something to talk about, bring up the series. If you’re ever bored, watch the series. And you know that he can’t break up with you until you finish the series, so you’re guaranteed at least 10-22 dates. It’s a no-brainer.
6. Hay Ride
I’m not sure what it is about hay rides (the Instagram picture). But as soon as fall rolls around, if you’re not riding some hay, you’re not exactly living. The crisp, fall air (the Instagram pictures), the cuddling (the Instagram picture), and the Instagram picture (called it). Sure it’s uncomfortable. And yes, you’ll leave smelling like a farm. But pack a flask and drink from it heavily, and when you wake up to 200 likes and a boy beside you, you’ll know it was worth it.
7. Haunted House
You get to get drunk, hang all over a guy, and scream your head off thus demonstrating your crazy, all at the same time. What’s not to love?
8. Throw A Halloween Party
Few things in life are better than Halloween parties. Actually no. Scratch that. Nothing in life is better than Halloween parties. You get to make cute and scary food. You get to decorate the shit out of your apartment. And you get to have festive drinks, automatically win the costume contest, and end the night drunk AF and able to crawl to your own bed. Plus, I dare a guy not to fall in love with you after sampling your smoking cauldron punch and eating your hotdog fingers. I DARE HIM.
9. Something Involving Football
While fall is the season for PSLs and gaining any and all weight you lost over the summer, it’s also the season of sports. You know. SPORTS! While the guy you like will be busy trying to please you to get in your pants, he’ll also be busy with his 15 fantasy football leagues, yelling at “his” team while watching games in gross sports bars, and spending every weekend tailgating with his drunk friends. You have two choices — avoid him during sports-related things, or grab a beer (or a wine juice box, no shame) and join him. No, it won’t be the best time ever, but you’ll be drunk and there will probably be nachos so like, you’ll be fine.
10. Coffee
Is there anything better than pulling up to a trendy little coffee shop in a scarf and a flannel, ordering a $10 drink, and cuddling up to the poor guy who paid for your $10 drink while you talk about feelings and what to watch on Netflix later? No. That answer is no. Fuck you. Getting expensive coffee while wearing fall staples with a guy is, without a doubt, one of the best anytime dates of the season. Don’t miss out on the excessive amounts of calories in a cup of coffee or the plethora of likes when you take a picture of your latte and your cookie with your unfocused life-hating man in the background.
11. Bonfire
There’s just something romantic about cuddling up in a blanket and drunkenly staring at a fire that makes our insides flutter. Fall is the perfect time to allow (read: force) your guy to prove that he’s a man by collecting wood, creating and maintaining a fire, and not complaining about it. And you get to make drinks in mule mugs and get s’mores stuff. Plus, between the chocolate, the alcohol, the stars, and the threat of burning alive, magic is bound to happen.
12. Sex?
If all else fails, at least it’ll keep you warm, right?.
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Rachel Varina
(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.
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