24 Things More Important To Count Than The Number Of People You’ve Slept With


Nothing is more infuriating to me than the idea of counting one’s ‘number.’ You know what I’m talking about. The crazy juxtaposition (don’t you miss those SAT words?) between not letting it get too high, but also not being too low. Getting, dare I say, shamed if your number isn’t in this mythical sweet spot. It’s annoying. And dumb. And honestly? Fuck your number. I’m here to let you in on a little secret: as long as you’re happy, healthy, and safe, the number of people you have or have not had sex with does not matter one bit.

Shocking, right? Instead, I encourage you all to start counting and keeping track of things that actually do matter. Because trust me, there are more important things to count than the number of dicks you haven’t been impressed with. Things like:

  1. The friends you can count on to always have your back.
  2. And the friends who can count on you to always have their backs.
  3. The likes on your perfectly filtered Insta.
  4. The people who love you unconditionally.
  5. The exceptionally cool places you’ve traveled.
  6. And the places you still want to explore.
  7. The days left until spring break.
  8. The number of shots you’ve taken.
  9. All of the A’s you’ve gotten.
  10. Your GPA.
  11. The life experiences that have made you grow as a person.
  12. And memories you’ll laugh about decades from now.
  13. The hearts you’ve broken.
  14. And the people who have broken your heart.
  15. The most retweets you’ve ever gotten on one tweet.
  16. The days left until graduation.
  17. All of the influential people who have looked at your LinkedIn page.
  18. Life goals you’ve already accomplished.
  19. And life goals you have yet to accomplish.
  20. How many kids you want to have.
  21. The people whose lives you’ve impacted.
  22. And the money you’ve raised for your respective philanthropy.
  23. The adversity you’ve overcome.
  24. And most of all, the people, good or bad, who have made you the amazing person you are today.

I challenge all of you to stop letting a single number define you. Instead, think about all of the amazing things you’ve done, you have, and you’ve accomplished. Define yourself by them, not by the number of people you’ve slept with. Be more than your number.

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Champagne Showers is a contributing writer for TSM. She is your typical Northern Diva. If curse words, sexual content, and drug use offend you, then bless your heart. CS will continue living the life you're too scared to live. email her at:

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