26 Things That Happen When Your Boyfriend Lives In A Frat House

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Ah, the fraternity house. We know it well. It all starts out innocently. Maybe you go to a party, meet a guy that doesn’t immediately scream “fuckboy” and get those digits. Maybe you texted him, maybe he called you, it doesn’t really matter. What matters now is that you’ve entered that unholy union known as a relationship, and yours just happens to be with a guy who lives in his fraternity house.

Sure, it has its pros, like the six bathrooms, so you never have to wait to pee. The constant pledges wandering around just waiting to refill that empty wine glass. But there are also certain things that you’re just going to have to get used to.

  1. At some point, someone other than your boyfriend will probably accidentally see you naked.
  2. This will become a joke, and you will probably never live it down. Make the most of it.
  3. Everyone knows what it sounds like when you have sex.
  4. And they’re always waiting to congratulate him after.
  5. There are going to be other girls around. All. The. Time.
  6. There is no privacy. Literally. None. They will walk into the room without knocking while you two are…studying…and carry on a complete conversation.
  7. He’s probably going to disappear from time to time, but you never have to worry about if he’s cheating or not.
  8. Unless you count that weird bromance he has with his roommate.
  9. There’s going to come a time when you will accidentally see someone else’s junk. Trust me, none of them are pretty. But also don’t yell “OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT” as though you’ve never seen a penis before.
  10. You get used to drinking shitty beer.
  11. But you appreciate that brother who shares his liquor with you all the more now.
  12. You’re going to run into that guy you hooked up with that one time after that one event.
  13. Yes, he WILL make it super awkward.
  14. If one of the guys sees you crafting, it is inevitable that he will ask for a craft. Think of it as an “if you give a mouse a cookie,” situation and confine your crafting to your dorm room.
  15. Sometimes you have to be the voice of reason. (No, they cannot jump from the roof to a pool they made in the back of a truck. Gravity doesn’t work like that.)
  16. Your friend will try to abuse your privileged pass into “guy world” by asking you to “just look out” for that guy she likes.
  17. For some reason, asking you to make them a sandwich never seems to get old for the guys.
  18. If you’re around often enough, you have to be prepared to pull your weight. (Read: clean before the alumni get there for an event.)
  19. That sister who says she’s “just friends” with that guy? It’s a lie. How do you know? You walked in on them in the bathroom.
  20. “Everybody out!” after an event finds you in the secret club of “hide upstairs until the peasants are gone.”
  21. The guys eventually learn that if you and your twin walk into a bathroom, you’re probably having a drunken heart to heart and they should find another place to relieve themselves.
  22. All of your friends are fair game to the other guys in the house.
  23. And no, they don’t have a problem with hooking up with more than one girl in your friend group.
  24. You’ll accidentally show up right before a brotherhood event and be forced to hide upstairs quietly for four hours.
  25. Somehow that girl that you hate will always find a way to be there for everything.
  26. But that’s okay, because every guy in that house knows who really matters and would do anything for you. You’ll have some of your best times in that house. You’ll throw up in their bathrooms, cry on their shoulders, steal their alcohol and their hearts. You’ll make some of your best friends in that house. Plus, you’ll get all the shirts you could possibly need. It’s a shacker’s paradise.

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ShutUpAndRead is a mass communications major from a small school in South Carolina that you've probably never heard of. She enjoys reading, long walks on the beach, and judging the Twitterverse. When she's not busy watching videos of sloths or babies dancing to pop music, she can be found pretending to be a princess and working diligently on her MRS degree.

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