Two words: meal plan.
To further explain that: You get to crawl out of bed, at noon, hungover, and have a plate full of chicken strips and fries just waiting to be shoveled into your still sort-of-drunk mouth.
Plus, you can act like you’re a classy ass bitch because you have a chef.
And late plates might just be the best thing to ever exist when you come home at 2 a.m. and forgot to stop at McDonalds.
It’s close to everything.
It’s close to class. It’s close to the bars. It’s close to tailgates and fraternity houses and hot boys who enjoy doing naughty things to you. It’s just. It’s really close.
cheaper than not living in your sorority house (hear that, parents?). You get to practice for the future of having to hide alcohol/weed/sex toys from your children because you’re currently hiding alcohol/weed/sex toys from your house mom.
And nosey sisters who actually follow the “this is a dry house” rule.
But don’t worry, most of the girls don’t actually follow that.
Which just makes it more fun to do it because it’s a total rush.
Your chances of getting laid in your sorority house (
because yes, it’s a bucket list item) go waaaay up if you actually live there. And you have a whole group of sisters who will distract the house mom, make sure your guy avoids the Standards Chair, and gets in and out (literally) without getting caught.
It’s easy to pull off pranks because there are too many people for anyone to figure out who it was.
And yes. Pulling pranks is 100 percent a thing. Cue:
The Parent Trap soundtrack. When you’re sick, someone always has whatever sort of drugs you need.
Or they offer to go get them for you because, love.
Same goes for when you’re not sick but still need drugs. A different kind drugs. Illegal drugs.
There’s always somebody awake if you can’t sleep and need to vent about how your sort-of-boyfriend made out with your sometimes-best friend.
Or you know. If you need to pull an all nighter and actually study or something.
Whenever you’re feeling lazy and don’t want to drive to class you can get someone to take you.
As long as you bribe them, of course.
And yeah, you get really, really good at bribes.
There’s literally always someone willing to be your DD, which is reason enough to live there.
And there’s always someone willing to get drunk AF in the back of some fraternity pledge’s car with you too.
It’s almost impossible to not find something to wear because every closet is your closet.
And you’ll never have to repeat an outfit on Instagram ever again.
Plus, the closer you are to more sisters, the more Insta likes you’ll get. That’s just science.
It’s always below freezing in the house, so wearing long sleeves and leggings at all times is totally acceptable.
So is sporting greasy, messy buns and wearing absolutely no makeup.
You’ll feel more involved just because you live at the place where everything happens. Plus, you’re the first ones to get to know all of the new members when they come into the house like scared, little dear.
So you can handpick littles, glittles, and new family members before anyone else calls dibs.
And no matter what, you always have someone to hangout with.
You can walk to class, because the first rule of college is to always, always have shitty parking. So you’ll save money on both gas and parking violations thanks to your location.
You can literally wake up from naps and go to chapter.
And you can come home from date functions and crawl directly into bed. You never have to deal with a gross guy who always wants to sleep over because LOL, he can’t.
But you have a great excuse for sleeping over at a guy’s house because you “don’t want to wake up your house mom.”
When you just feel like shit there’s always someone who will go get ice cream with you.
And someone else who will go run with you to burn off those calories.
Or assure you that you’re still hot because screw physical activity.
But even if you hate the gym, you’ll be more motivated to actually go when you see other girls going.
It can only be socially acceptable to live in a house of forty girls for so long. You might as well do it while you can.
Same goes for sleeping in bunk beds.
You’re already at the house for mandatory events which makes it a lot easier to actually attend them.
So the whole point system thing? Yeah. It’s pretty much your bitch since you end up attending everything.
Farts are funnier when your not alone. That’s just a fact. Sharing a bathroom with a house full of girls takes singing “Bad Blood” in the shower to a whole new level.
Same goes for understanding how to keep a sink clean and the drains unclogged.
Someone will always, always ask you how your day is going.
And always be at the ready to crack your back, play with your hair, or rub your shoulders.
You become totally comfortable with your body because girls walk in on you naked. All of the time.
Someone will always pick you up from the airport. Usually free of charge. Just because they love you.
You find out who your real friends are when they don’t send you to standards for throwing up in the hallway.
You’ll always have a Netflix password, a Hulu account, and someone to watch creepy documentaries with. First dibs on food boys bring over.
And you’ll never miss out on watching them serenade some poor, embarrassed, freshmen girl.
Not to mention the plethora of coupons and free merchandise companies drop off at the house.
You get to ask everyone who walks in the door their opinions on important life decisions.
Like if you should get a balayage (yes). Or whether or not you really need to make all of those online shopping purchases (you don’t).
So you don’t waste all of your money
on another candle you’re not actually allowed to have in the house.
You get to be caught up on all of the hot gossip 24/7. So you always know who to date, who to not, and who did what to whom in the handicapped stall of the guest bathroom.
You get to make friends with the house boys when you’re drunk and hungry.
And then meet them again in the morning when you’re hungover and hungry. And yes. Some in-house girls hook up with the house boys. Because yes. Most of the time they’re hot.
You’ll learn how to curl your hair, contour your face, and look like an actual, put together, human. After college you’ll never again have the chance to live in a house with a whole bunch of girls who love you. So live it up. Say yes. Attend a semester long sleepover with your future bridesmaids. Run around the house screaming, and cry in the bed of your roommate. Enjoy the simple moments of being in the house at night and soaking up the history of generations of women who were there before you. Don’t let your chance to be a part of that pass you by. Because once you graduate, you’ll wish you did it. But by then, it’ll be too late.
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