Don’t old people just say the darndest things? A racist comment there, a misogynistic ideal here, it’s all to be expected when talking with the grandparents. We forgive their inappropriate, politically incorrect comments because then they come around tell us that we’re gorgeous and bake us cookies. It’s not perfect, but it works.
Personally, my grandma is my biggest fan. She’s the first one to comment on my pictures, letting me know I could be a model. Sure it’s a blatant lie directly to my face, but she’s just being sweet and encouraging. That’s why we love our grandmas, because they’re always lying to us to make us feel better about our shortcomings. We can always rely on them to make us feel better in a world of critics.
But not THIS grandma. Nope. This grandma doesn’t want to play your silly games. This woman is a living, breathing subtweet IRL, and no one is safe. Chloè Gallacher recently posted this beautiful selfie to Facebook.
And her grandma was quick to comment. But none of that pussy shit we’ve grown to expect. Oh, no. She commented, “How stunning would you be if you lost wight xx” Get fucking wrecked, Chloè. Not only did this grandma just brutally shut down any confidence her granddaughter had left, she didn’t even spell “weight” correctly. Brutal.
Maybe it’s that I’m just too nice (lol, not really), or maybe the Scottish are just assholes, but I have a big problem with this crabby nana. First of all, Chloè looks stunning in this photo. If she is a bit on the bigger side, you would never be able to tell because the photo is just of her face. And, as someone with a string bean body and chubby ass cheeks, there really isn’t much you can do about the love handles on your face.
Maybe, maybe this comment would have been warranted if Chloè had posted a bikini pic. But even then, she wasn’t asking for her grandma’s criticism. After all, isn’t she supposed to be the role model of “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”?
Naturally, the world wasn’t too pleased with the reaction. But even as Chloè took the high road, replying “aw, aye thanks very much nana!” People of the internet weren’t nearly as forgiving. But I mean honestly, you have to give mad props to Chloè for remaining proposed and not calling out her nana. Instead, she found the situation funny because she’s a much better person than I am.
Chloè defended her grandma, telling Daily Mail, “She got quite upset because she thought people were taking it as if she was being nasty when that wasn’t the case.” Um, excuse me?
Nope, you read that correctly. Grumpy grandma has assumed the victim role. She claimed, “It wasn’t meant as a dig. I was actually quite upset by some of the reaction because she got some digs, or I did.” I’m going to go off on a limb and assume that literally none of the digs were directed at Chloè.
You have to give her props though, it takes skill to back pedal that hard. Her story is that she was “only saying it in a nice way.” That’s a bold strategy, let’s test it out on some simply ~misunderstood~ compliments.
“How great at sex you’d be, if only your dick was bigger. I’m only saying that in a nice way.”
“How beautiful you are, besides your uggo of a face. I’m only saying that in a nice way.”
Huh, maybe it does work. Thanks for the new way to be bitchy, gran..
[via Daily Mail]
Image via Shutterstock
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Blue-eyed-blondie
Blondie excels at being an underachiever. She is currently trying to add an extra year onto her undergrad so she can continue to down $7 bottles of wine in an environment that encourages her erratic behavior. After graduation, she has big plans to flunk out of a prestigious law school. Email her compliments and Netflix suggestions at blue.eyed.blondie.tsm@gmail.com EDIT** if you suggest Black Mirror she's already seen it. So stop suggesting it. Seriously. Please stop suggesting it.
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