“Let’s talk about sex, baby! Let’s talk about you and me!”
I love sex. I’m not very good at it, mediocre seems to be a more appropriate word, but at least I know what needs to be done to get to the big O. During that time there will be some moaning, sure, but I don’t consider myself to be a screamer. My roommates have never asked me to quite down, or, say, call the cops on me. Not like Champion Orgasmer, Amanda Marie Warfal, at least.
Warfal allegedly came so hard she shook the furniture of a house that wasn’t even hers. Homegirl’s hulk-like vagina quaked so strong that her neighbors felt its wrath. This must be a cause for a medal, right? Some sort of Olympic sport in the making. But alas, her hater neighbors were (somehow) not impressed.
Instead of spending two years in awe of her glory and begging her to teach them her ways, they called the cops on her. Some people just don’t want others to succeed in life. Apparently, this betrayal annoyed Warfal, who then threatened her bitch ass neighbors. Personally, I think that is a perfectly reasonable response to someone cutting her off mid orgasm.
Unfortunately for our girl, Warfal, the courts sided with the neighbors and she was sent to jail for 45 to 90 days. To many, this might seem a bitch harsh, but I don’t see it that way. We’ve all seen Orange is the New Black. While prison doesn’t seem like the best place to be, the women there are at least still getting it on the reg. Who knows? Maybe she’ll shake the walls so hard that the jail will straight up be demolished, freeing her back into society.
In the meantime, she should really look into some kegel strength competitions, or maybe teach a class or two..
[via Elite Daily]
Image via Shutterstock
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Blue-eyed-blondie
Blondie excels at being an underachiever. She is currently trying to add an extra year onto her undergrad so she can continue to down $7 bottles of wine in an environment that encourages her erratic behavior. After graduation, she has big plans to flunk out of a prestigious law school. Email her compliments and Netflix suggestions at blue.eyed.blondie.tsm@gmail.com EDIT** if you suggest Black Mirror she's already seen it. So stop suggesting it. Seriously. Please stop suggesting it.
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