Screw boys, literally and figuratively. TSM.

Standards staring you down during the alcohol policy presentation. TSM.

My drinking isn’t a problem. It’s a passion. TSM.

The bartender knowing your name and drink order. TSM.

Secretly hating PC ’16, because they have four years ahead of them. TSM.

We hate him now. TSM.

Addicted to the blonde life. TSM.

I don’t have a drinking problem. Standards has a problem with me drinking. There’s a big difference. TSM.

Don’t view it as getting arrested. We had a bonding experience in the back of a cop car. TSM.

Hooking up with a pledge master simply for the pledge benefits. TSM.

Wearing a collared shirt, but only so no one can see your hickeys. TSM.

Wanting him to post stuff so you can purposely ignore it. TSM.

Getting drunk for the sole purpose of “casually” drunk Snapchatting him. TSM.

Always caring less than he does. TSM.

Actually feeling bad for him because you know you look better than his new girlfriend. TSM.

His roommates starting a slow clap when they see you walk out of his room. TSM.

“why don’t you look like anything like your big?” TSM.

Making a quilt out of shack shirts. TSM.

First week of classes and I already have a meeting with standards. TSTC.

I like mixed drinks, not mixed signals. TSM.