Getting paid in Vyvanse. TSTC.

I’m 100% wearing a baseball hat today. TSM.

Feeling a tiny victory every time you’re on a fraternity’s Instagram. TSM.

Keeping up with the likes of a photo you’re tagged in. TSM.

When standards adds a bylaw and you’re just like, “@ me next time.” TSTC.

A gentlemen never asks. A lady never tells. TSM.

I don’t have a drinking problem. Standards has a problem with me drinking. TSM.

When the biggest risk in the chapter is the Risk Manager’s little. TSM.

Unhooking your little’s bra when she sits in front of you during chapter. TSM.

If you’re drinking at a restaurant instead of a bar does it actually count as drinking? TSM.

I’d rather be the risk than manage it. TSM.

Vodka treats me better than he ever did. TSM.

My “bumming it” outfit is still more put together than most. TSM.

Standards officially giving up on you because they know they can’t control you. TSM.

“I think I’m a fuckgirl.” TSM.

Drinking is both the of root and the solution to all my problems. TSM.

I’m literally only wearing pink tennis shoes so people know I’m a girl today. TSM.

Having a whole section of your planner dedicated to caption ideas for future events. TSM.

“If I go to that frat house and the dog isn’t there, I’m leaving.” TSM.

Good girls have standards. Bad girls go to standards. TSM.