Every day is Christmas when you have Daddy’s credit card. TSM.

Spending more time getting ready for the library during finals week than you spend at the library. TSM.

He just called me princess. I’m marrying him. TSM.

Judging any girl who doesn’t fill her shot glass to the rim. TSM.

Knowing which sisters to party with, gossip with, and get free Adderall from. TSM.

GDI’s: Can’t live with them, can’t legally segregate them from society. TSM.

How good I am by day is directly proportional to how bad I am by night. TSM.

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
Marilyn Monroe. TSM.

I already have everything on your Christmas wishlist. TSM.

The lesser of two evils is always the one you’ve never tried before. TSM.

You’re my rock because you’re my father. You’re my hero because you’re a veteran. TSM.

If you can’t say something nice, tweet it with a bitchy hashtag. TSM.

Using hand signals from rush at the bar so that your sisters know when to save you from the awkward convo. TSM.

Pin It option on TSM photos. TSM.

Interpretation of Daddy’s answers when I want something: Yes= yes, Maybe= yes, No= yes. TSM.

He’s Pre-med. I’m Pre-wed. TSM.

Facebook stalking every girl that writes on your fratdaddy’s wall and then discussing all their flaws with your sisters. TSM.

Not sweating too much at the gym because it will mess up my hair and make-up. TSM.

The meanest trick God ever played was giving me and my bestie different shoe sizes. TSM.

If I actually said what I was thinking all the time, I’d have no friends. TSM.