When the drunkest girl in your sorority becomes Risk Management just to avoid going to standards. TSM.

Rewarding every new notecard I write with a pin. TSM.

I hate people that aren’t us. TSM.

Taking a finals study break to do your nails because you swear taking notes isn’t the same with chipped polish. TSM.

Spending more time getting ready for the gym than actually at the gym. TSM.

When champagne is a breakfast food group. TSM.

Daddy bought me a new car as a bribe to stay in state. I went out of state anyway. TSM.

That awkward moment when you have nothing nice to say to a girl who just complimented you. TSM.

I need a husband like, yesterday. TSM.

Monday is God’s way of punishing us for what we did over the weekend. TSM.

Referring to a soda machine as a “chaser machine.” TSM.

I’d make Bacon a sandwich. TSM.

If you have to say you don’t care, you obviously do. TSM.

Finals are over and so is my sobriety. TSM.

If you wish upon a star…Daddy will make it come true. TSM.

Always acting like a lady, especially if he has a new girlfriend. TSM.

Having to make a conscious decision to be nice. TSM.

Freaking out because you realized you’re not going to have a new profile picture until you get back to school in January. TSM.

Stop whining and start wining. TSM.

I don’t have to like everyone, but everyone has to like me. TSM.