The TFM tab is like my bank account, I never check it because I know what’s there. TSM.

Marrying for money and learning to love. TSM.

This season’s Bachelorette. NS. Watching every minute of it. TSM.

“Thanks So Much!” TSM.

Free limo ride home from the bar because we’re gorgeous. TSM.

Anything you can bake I can bake better. TSM.

I’d dirty rush Alex Morgan. TSM.

Ignoring warning labels. TSM.

The only planking I’ll ever do is in my ab class. TSM.

Don’t blame me, blame the wine. TSM.

Never hated picture day. TSM.

Fake ID’s, real D’s. TSM.

Not in a frat? Sorry I can’t shack. TSM.

Changing your profile picture way too often when studying abroad. TSM.

Drunken pep-talks in the mirror to maintain composure. TSM.

Reserved seating at the mayor’s inauguration. TSM.

“I don’t think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased to hear about this.” TSM.

Dear professor, can these two C’s get me an A? TSM.

Never have I feathered. TSM.

“It’s not my fault that you’re like, in love with me or something.” TSM.