Only being on a diet when people are watching. TSM.

Every weekend my camera collects more and more incriminating evidence. TSM.

He said he was majoring in secondary education. I walked away. What a shame, he was really cute. TSM.

Texas sized hair and a bow to match. TSM.

What’s a sale rack? TSM.

The neighbs were playing their techno music so loudly it was interfering with my shacking. I called the cops instead of going over there. I don’t negotiate with GDIs. TSM.

Being reminded by your standards advisor to drink responsibly…vodka and Sprite Zero only has 30 calories. TSM.

I learn more watching TLC than I do sitting in class. TSM.

Perfecting the art of shoving guys into “the friend zone.” TSM.

White ritual bow. TSM.

Not having daddy issues. TSM.

I would get so much more done if I didn’t have a mirror in my room. TSM.

Everyone I’ve ever dated in college has been in the business school. TSM.

Always choosing a Pink highlighter. TSM.

Wine with my lean cuisine. TSM.

I don’t sweat, I glisten. TSM.

Wine bottle opener in my purse at all times. TSM.

I think better when I bake. TSM.

I don’t really care about politics, but I look better in red than blue and think elephants are cuter than donkeys. TSM.

It takes a lot of money to look this effortless. TSM.