The Frat Pack splits for me to walk through. TSM.

I’ve never had to wear spanx. TSM.

Crafting Therapy. TSM.

Not knowing my GDI professor’s name because I spend his class reading Martha Stewart Living, online shopping, and perfecting my 150 slide Wedding PowerPoint. TSM.

Be good or be good at it. TSM.

Only going to class when it rains to use the Lilly Pulitzer umbrella. TSM.

Whoever decided to put girl scout cookie season right before Spring Break is evil. TSM.

PNF. Potential New Fratdaddy. TSM.

Sipping wine while I get my weekly mani pedi. TSM.

Just tried to swipe myself up the elevator with daddy’s credit card. It’s the first card I grab out of habit. TSM.

Knowing how to tie a tie. TSM.

Got asked home by three fratdaddies last night. Went to my own bed to get my beauty sleep. TSM.

If I see a pretty girl wearing a bottom tier sororities letters, I wonder what’s wrong with her personality. TSM.

If you haven’t been sent to standards, you haven’t really partied. TSM.

I can turn any conversation into parliamentary procedure. TSM.

Came home drunk and the first thing I did was unload the dishwasher. TSM.

Having a Vera Bradley makeup bag just for my coozies. TSM.

Dear neighbs, Sorry I’m not sorry for slamming so loudly. TSM.

“Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.” TSM.

People never having to wonder whether your bag is fake. TSM.