Car payments are for the poor. TSM.

Shacking builds character. TSM.

I don’t need to check myself out in windows as I walk by, but I always do. TSM.

Taking my Frat Daddy’s bowtie off with my teeth. TSM.

Having a family jeweler. TSM.

I won’t hyphenate because it would only complicate my monogram. TSM.

40 boxes of flowers delivered to the house. TSM.

Mobile uploading the present and roses you received from your boyfriend. TSM.

Stopping traffic. TSM.

You mean someone actually has to pay the tab? TSM.

A natural aroma of Chanel No. 5 and freshly baked cupcakes. TSM.

Getting slutty GDIs kicked out of parties. TSM.

Baking brownies last night to share with the unfortunate girls who don’t have Valentines. TSM.

Roman numerals and Greek letters are the only two un-American things I will ever use. TSM.

Coordinating my fratdaddy’s outfit with mine for our Valentine’s dinner. TSM.

I don’t remember the last time I paid for my own gas. TSM.

Valentine’s Day is for amateurs. My fratdaddy spoils me everyday of the year. TSM.

I had to drop a class because all I could think about was how I wanted to give my professor a makeover. TSM.

When we go out together and everyone hits on me, and ignores you, I’ll pretend to not know why. TSM.

I put the ass in sass. TSM.