Wake and bake…Cookies! TSM.

Two sets of ear piercings, one for diamonds and one for pearls. TSM.

Getting an apron, dish washing gloves, and a cupcake carrier for Valentines Day from my fratdaddy. TSM.

Never needing a recipe card. TSM.

Running a credit check on a Fratdaddy before agreeing to go to his formal. TSM.

My fratdaddy is a lot like Taco Bell, I only want him when i’m wasted at 3 a.m. or feeling bad about myself. TSM.

My formal date owns a tux. TSM.

Blazers and Sperrys are aphrodisiacs. TSM.

Never having an awkward stage. TSM.

You’ll know I hate you if I’m nice to you. You’ll know I like you if I tell you how much I hate the girl to my left. TSM.

Our sorority house has a servants entrance. TSM.

Getting my nails painted in the study room of the honors college. TSM.

Stressing out about midterms so I decided to make some scones… from scratch. TSM.

Writing my frat daddy’s one sided note sheet for his test because he knows how small I can make my handwriting so that everything fits in my social calendar. TSM.

Fat, drunk, and single is no way to go through life, Sweetheart. TSM.

Today a guy asked me what my number was. I asked him what fraternity he was in. TSM.

Being educated, poised and charming enough to handle yourself gracefully in any social situation. TSM.

Getting excited in Stats when we talk about greek letters. TSM.

The first thing my little is going to learn is a list of boys she’s not allowed to hookup with. TSM.

I won’t settle for anyone less fratty than the Winklevoss twins. TSM.