Discussing with my fratdaddy how we’re going to spend his MLB signing bonus. TSM.

I always respond to 3am texts. TSM.

Nothing turns me on more than seeing a man’s hazing scars. TSM.

The bigger the hair, the better the head. TSM.

I don’t want to be a politician, I just want to marry one. TSM.

Girls are more excited for an invitation to my wedding than a bid to our sorority. TSM.

The only time I’ve ever tried to be above a man is when I’m doing reverse cowgirl. TSM.

Pearls in your passport photo. TSM.

Shacking at a frat house and sending a mass text to your sorority sisters to see who else is there so you can walk home together. TSM.

I’ll only hook up with you if you’re on the top row of your composite. TSM.

Our sorority president returned from the break and had gained 15 pounds. So we held a re-election due to her “failure to present a positive image of our sorority.” TSM.

Sex in the house mom’s room. TSM.

PDA is so GDI. TSM.

Having a bikini ready body all year round. TSM.

Monogrammed lingerie. TSM.

My size 2 jeans are my fat pants. TSM.

We’re not taking a Spring pledge class because it’s a sign of weakness. TSM.

I chose my affiliation based on the sorority with the highest marriage proposal rate upon graduation. TSM.

My little sister told me all she wanted was a bid next year. I told her no promises. TSM.

Aspiring to become Elle Woods. TSM.