The older you dress, the faster my panties drop. TSM.

I am wearing your shirt now, but I would much rather be wearing your ring. TSM.

Getting a new outfit to play in the BCS Championship Bowl. TSM.

Who I take to bed is like how southern schools handle snow days: 3-5 inches and it’s not happening. TSM.

My pie crust never starts as frozen, my tomato sauce never comes in a can, and I’ve never been told my cooking is “ok.” TSM.

I’m choosing Edward because Jacob wears jorts. TSM.

Wishing Facebook had a GDI blocker so they couldn’t creep on me. TSM.

Just made homemade dog biscuits for my frat daddy’s Labrador. TSM.

Cleaning makes the hunger pains go away. TSM.

Driving back from Christmas break with my fratdaddy’s half-finished cooler riding shotgun. TSM.

Nothing says ‘GDI’ like store-bought cookies and being fat. TSM.

My fratdaddy’s favorite lingerie is me in an apron. TSM.

5 of my sorority sisters and I got engaged to our frat daddies over Christmas break. TSM.

Got five new pairs of Nike shorts today. Kids mediums. TSM.

Pre-gaming for a new episode of Cupcake Wars. TSM.

I have to take off all my jewelry in order to get an accurate weight. TSM.

Losing five pounds over break and moving up two cup sizes. TSM.

None of my friends got pregnant in high school. TSM.

Cooking, crafting, and drinking wine. Wondering how girls who aren’t in sororities spend their time. TSM.

I don’t say excuse me because I’m skinny. TSM.