Never had my belly button pierced. TSM.

Referring to rooms in our house by their colors. TSM.

You can’t motorboat a good personality. TSM.

Just mean-mugged a random Tri-Delt in the airport. TSM.

All I want for Christmas is a Tiffany’s bracelet and my period. TSM.

Okay geed, you may think I “bought” my friends but at least I don’t have to take photos of myself in the bathroom just so there’s pictures of me on Facebook. TSM.

I just fell in the middle of the bar luckily the fratiest guy here picked me up so I made out with him. TSM.

I spent more time judging people’s outfits at Christmas mass than I did praying. TSM.

My family is known around the neighborhood for giving the maids the best Christmas gift. TSM.

Every Christmas my entire family takes a pictures on the front steps of my grandparent’s house. The same plantation house, where starting back in 1755, a painting or picture has been made every single year. Except the years where all the sons were off being officers in the Confederacy. TSM.

I frequently confuse country club membership number with my school ID number. TSM.

My daddy is an arrogant asshole to everyone, except me. TSM.

Cutting a legacy to “give her a chance to be happy in another chapter.” TSM.

5-9, 105 pounds, D cup, natural blonde. Just something else Mommy and Daddy gave me, good genes. TSM.

I probably don’t actually like you. TSM.

The first thing I look at is a guy’s shoes. TSM.

Came home and saw the Yurman box under the Christmas tree. Started practicing my “Oh Daddy! You shouldn’t have!”. TSM.

I’ve never been seen without full makeup and a plate of homemade brownies. TSM.

I had a wine hangover for the third year in a row for my family Christmas card pictures. TSM.

Making a list of which senior girls from my high school will NOT be in next year’s pledge class. TSM.