I keep my Adderall in a Tiffany box. TSM.

I don’t like to brag, but I can and I do. TSM.

My mom brought me in with her to see her plastic surgeon because she wanted her new boobs too look exactly like mine. TSM.

I’m a Hepburn, not a Hilton. TSM.

Fluent in sarcasm. TSM.

Walk of shame, always better with a friend. TSM.

Knowing that a sarcastic tone and the word “classy” is the most effective insult. TSM.

Who do I have to shack with to get my post on here? TSM.

Afternoon tee time. TFM. Afternoon tea time. TSM.

Pretending to be surprised when daddy buys me a new car for Christmas. TSM.

If you don’t have a number after your name, you won’t be getting mine. TSM.

People also drive to my neighborhood to look at Christmas lights, but they can’t get in the gate. TSM.

I’m not down to earth. TSM.

My thighs don’t touch. TSM.

I’m really good at spanish because all of my nannies were spanish. TSM.

Fratdaddy is coming over to haze me when he is finished hazing pledges. TSM.

Gingerbread mansion. TSM.

If you’re NF, then we’re NF (not friends). TSM.

Trading banana bread for adderall. TSM.

One of my sisters didn’t have a middle name so she legally applied for one and added it so she could have a 3 letter monogram. TSM.