Reading Southern Living while waiting for my Xanax prescription. TSM.

I don’t play hard to get. I am hard to get. TSM.

Asked the guy I shacked with to drop me off at the sorority after all my sisters went to church. TSM.

I live my life in spandex. TSM.

Disney gave me completely realistic expectations of love. TSM.

Just blew a fuse in the dorm room using hair dryers to dry our mountain weekend coolers while painting them with my hallmates. TSM.

At the Med Library with my fratdaddy. He’s studying Animal Physiology while I work on my Elementary Education art project. TSM.

2010 Range Rover Sport and a Louis Vuitton Keepall 60 for my birthday. TSM.

Waking up early on a Sunday morning to make my fratdaddy breakfast in bed, and making extra eggs for his fratador retriever so that her coat stays shiny. TSM.

Daddy bought me the BMW I wanted. Of course, I don’t drive, that’s a man’s job. TSM.

Having my uncle, the dean of Yale, experience the grove. TSM.

I spend more time getting ready for the game then I do at it. TSM.

Not only does deer season open this weekend, deb season does too. TSM.

I re-tease my hair before I do the Walk of Shame. TSM.

I only know which day of the week it is because of my birth control. TSM.

Asked a PNM for her address to add her for spring invites, but really just wanted to GoogleMap her house to see if she was good enough. She wasn’t. TSM.

I’m not a slut I’m a PR major. TSM.

I was Grand Marshal of the parade of shame this morning. Sorry about it. TSM.

Shopping online for Vineyard Vines boxers for my fratdaddy while the GDI next to me does our group project. TSM.

Jealousy is a sickness, get well soon GDI. TSM.