I don’t poop. TSM.

Went to sleep in a blue state and woke up in a red state. Best sleep of my life. TSM.

A proper lady never spits. Anything. TSM.

Going to class decked out in Burberry because I want to make sure everyone knows that I’m still classy despite everything that happened this past weekend. TSM.

We turned our house’s study room into a craft room. TSM.

My academic advisor suggested that I take a Women’s and Gender Studies course to meet my humanities requirement. I declined and politely asked if there was anything that would be more useful for my future career, a culinary course perhaps? TSM.

The woman working the polls complimented my elephant necklace and winked as she handed me my ballot. TSM.

Texting daddy to figure out who I’m suppose to vote for. TSM.

Bonding with your fratdaddy’s mother about how hard it is to find good help. TSM.

Carrying my red Longchamp today in honor of election day. TSM.

Pretty sure my pencil skirt, argyle cardigan, pearls, and Longchamp will let everyone at the polls know which party I support. So much for confidentiality. TSM.

Technically Daddy votes 4 times: his vote, mom’s vote, my sister’s vote, and my vote. TSM.

My mom gave me a panini maker when I moved to school. TSM.

I have social anxiety when I wear shirts without frockets. TSM.

Yes GDI, I have an iPod too but I talk to my friends on the way to class. TSM.

Got trick or treaters at the house tonight. All we had to give them were peppermints & Nutri Grain bars. TSM.

My sorority dressed up as 101 dalmatians on Halloween weekend. Sorry you don’t have 100 friends, GDI. TSM.

When I see a girl on campus wearing a cute outfit, there is a 9 out of 10 chance she is in my sorority. TSM.

Naming my future sons Theodore, Reagan, and George Walker. TSM.

Don’t expect me to get on my knees unless I can clearly see yours. TSM.