Spring break plans? Get hella turnt and somewhat burnt. TSM.

“Do you have any hot friends?”
“All my friends are hot.” TSM.

Having a signature dance move. TSM.

Moms’ Weekend turning your crazy, semi-alcoholic friends into wholesome girls you don’t even recognize. TSM.

Remembering the night by what you wore, not what you did. TSM.

Last one to get ready. First one to get drunk. TSM.

Sometimes, I wonder how all those drunk girls I’ve bonded with in bathrooms are doing. TSM.

“Is vodka a carb?” TSM.

“Drunk calories don’t count, right?”
“No, and drunk words don’t either.” TSM.

Uber ride of shame. TSM.

There is a special place in heaven for boys who understand the importance of asking you to formal in the most public and extravagant way possible. TSM.

“Florals? For Bid Day? Groundbreaking.” TSM.

“I want to add his letter to my monogram.” -Ella Fitzgerald. TSM.

Dressing like you’re in a sorority. Drinking like you’re in a fraternity. TSM.

Having the body of a trophy wife and the brains of a surgeon. TSM.

“It ain’t my fault when I walk and jaws drop.” -Miranda Lambert. TSM.

Shopping for a date party dress during your three-hour lecture. TSM.

Crafting your second form of ID. TSM.

“If you don’t want to date me that’s fine, but you’re wrong and I hate you.”- Workaholics. TSM.

“I don’t even care if I get arrested. I’ve been wanting a cute mugshot lately.” TSM.