Countdown To The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year With This Wine Filled Advent Calendar


There’s no denying that the holidays are stressful. You’re probably at the age now where you’re expected to buy what seems like everyone you know a Christmas gift with the money that you usually use for alcohol, and Ubers, all in exchange for “practical” gifts like socks and mugs that make fun of your apparent dependency (This “might” be vodka? No, this is definitely vodka, Uncle Robert). Through it all, there’s the depressing reality that Santa isn’t real and the majority of your family members hate having to spend time together. Sure, at the end of the day, you’re still going to say that Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, but you might need to spike your hot chocolate in order to admit it.

Over the course of December, you spend so much time worrying about others that you have very little time, or room on your credit card to treat yourself. But by the time December 25th comes, you don’t want to be the Scrooge of the family, yelling “ba-humbug” and scaring the children.

Enter, the Aldi Adult Advent Calendar. Remember how exciting advent calendars were when you were a child? Each and every day leading up to day that you got a ton of presents, you got a chocolate, or a small present (what can I say, I was a pretty spoiled child). Nowadays, you should avoid eating chocolate each and every day, since you would rather not have your great aunt Martha commenting on how there’s “more of you to love this year” while your whole family is sitting around the dinner table. No, if you’re going to have calories, they can’t be wasted on something as trivial as chocolate; ideally for the month of December, all calories that aren’t crucial to your survival should be stashed away and used on wine. Specifically, the 24 day’s worth of wine that comes in this special, adult calendar.

Honestly, this isn’t just a want, it’s a necessity. Think of all of the time, money and energy you’ll save having all of this wine at your disposal. You’ll eliminate the need to run to the nearest place that sells alcohol multiple times throughout the month: during your boyfriend’s family get together, late night Christmas shopping, and the ugly holiday sweater party your douchey friend now insists is a “tradition.” It really is the gift that just keeps on giving.

Each day you’ll receive a 200ml bottle of either red, white, rosé, or bubbly wine, which ensures that you’re able to keep things new when drinking every single day. Unfortunately, the calendar is currently only available in the UK, so whenever anyone asks what you want for Christmas, I would suggest asking for a plane ticket over the pond, so that you’re able to pick up one of these treats and a hot foreign guy to kiss under the mistletoe.

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Hiding from my mother and standards, both of whom would disown me if they heard most of these stories. Aspiring law school student, with a chihuahua named Bruiser and a head of unnatural blonde hair. Email me your "crazy" stories or any mixed drink recipes that taste like juice, but have copious amounts of vodka in them at [email protected] Watch the bitch behind these stories at:

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