When I was in high school, my music teacher showed up one day with a giant, splotchy hickey on her neck. Pretty much everyone gave her shit for it, and she tried to brush it off by telling us that she burned her neck with her hair straightener. We all took one look at her beach waves and were like, “nice try, ya nasty ho.” Because anyone over the age of twelve can identify a hickey, and anyone dumb enough to try to lie about it deserves to be shamed.
At least a hair straightener is a somewhat valid excuse. You know what’s not an acceptable explanation? This:
I told my dad Yesterday i was gunna see you to today and he thought it would be funny to jump on me to wake me up and he gave me a hickey. I was like really!!!! This bitch is huge!!! My mom said I look like white trash
I don’t know who this guy is, or what kind of weird familial relations he has going on, but this thing is not okay. Obviously his dad didn’t give him a hickey, because that shit takes some serious time and effort. Also, the idea of a close blood relative sucking on one’s neck is straight repulsive. When will guys start owning up to their discrepancies and stop trying to lie us into oblivion? Did he actually think this shit would fly?
To whatever poor lady was on the receiving end of this: Run. This man needs to be dumped for so many reasons, the least of which being his terrible grammatical errors. .
[via Elite Daily]
Image via Shutterstock
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Lucky Jo
Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.
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