Nothing screams romance quite like a vacation to Italy with your significant other. It’s the place where pizza and gelato flow through the streets, wine is the casual beverage of choice, and serious questions are popped, which result in a lifetime of happiness. Basically it’s heaven on Earth, and 21-year-old Jake Dodridge wanted to experience that heaven with his long-term girlfriend, because he’s a good person.
But, because people are horrible and happiness doesn’t exist, just about the worst thing that could happen happened after Jake spent £650 (about $1,050) setting up this dream vacation.
His girlfriend, who just so happens to be a stone cold bitch (and not in the good way) decided to end the relationship mere weeks before going on the trip that her adorable boyfriend paid for. Yeah. And I can’t even get a guy to buy me a drink.
After learning that he couldn’t get a refund on this depressingly romantic getaway, Jake did what any heartbroken individual would do when faced with the prospect of having to go on an Italian vacation alone. He placed an ad on eBay to find a female replacement to go on the trip with him.
It started out casually enough. Women between the ages of 18 and 30 could bid on attending the trip with him. His only request? They send pictures to prove they are women. Honestly, you weren’t going to get an invite without sending a few nudes. Sorry, Jennifer Lawrence.
From his actual ad:
I’m looking for someone to travel to Venice with me. (This isn’t something I’d normally do but I’m left with no choice!)
This includes the flight, tickets and hotel stay for four nights!
The hotel is a 4* hotel in San Marco. I’m a 21 year old male and looking for FEMALES ONLY between the ages of 18-30 to join me!
I bought this holiday to Venice and it is non-refundable. I checked and for a small fee a passengers name can be changed.
The flights are from Garwick – San Marco airport.
The trip is from December 3rd and coming back the 7th.
I will need to see a few photos of the bidder to make sure you are between the ages of 18-30!! (will be adding photos of myself later)
As soon as I heard this guy had been dumped and needed a fuck buddy to prance around Italy with him, I immediately went to eBay to get in on the action. After 20 minutes of ruthless searching, watching YouTube clips from “The Lizzy McGuire Movie” for inspiration, and eating a themed lunch of pizza rolls, I realized the ad was no longer up. Apparently eBay wasn’t as amused as everyone else and shut down the whole thing, but not before the bidding got up to £91,000. Because that’s the going rate for being with a romantic guy. And why I’ll die alone.
Naturally, after getting on eBay too late, I took to Facebook stalking, and because his limited profile didn’t let me see as much of 2006 as I would have liked, I friend requested him. If he thinks a random friend request from a girl is weird, he shouldn’t have whored himself out on the internet.
Unfortunately, I guess every other thirsty female thought to do the same thing, because not only did I get an alert stating that “he had reached the friend request limit and can’t accept any more,” but according to Jezebel, he currently has more than 600 friend requests on Facebook. Guess his ex, Mel*, will be dealing with a little more than the usual post breakup regrets. Nothing sucks more than dumping a guy before a romantic vacay than having him turn around and become a viral stud in the course of a day. Talk about a TFM–am I right, Dodridge?
In conclusion, love is hard, but finding a replacement girlfriend on the internet is easy. On that note, send me a friend request, Jake.
*Disclaimer: I only know his ex-girlfriend’s name is Mel thanks to some intense and unjustified Facebook stalking. TSTC..