Do you have an Instagram account? Then your feed has probably been fucked up the ass by that red swimsuit craze. Like, get a life people. Have some humility. Don’t just run with the flock at the sign of “free.” Just kidding, of course. Mine will be here in three-six weeks.
What I lack in uniqueness, however, I make up for in creativity. So while yes, I will be rocking the same suit as 30K other lemmings, mine will show my personal ~style.~ Here are some ways to upgrade your one piece. You’re welcome.
1. Fabric paint.
This is the typical route for anyone who has any experience with crafting. Pretty much all fabric paints are water proof, but I highly recommend this one: Allure Adhesive Paints which are made specifically for synthetic fabrics.
Stretch the suit around cardboard to stencil and paint. Print/draw whatever design, words, etc that you want, trace over with tissue paper, and then transfer to the suit using a sharpie.
2. Cinch the booty.
The best way to get a bubble butt isn’t by eating well and working out, it’s by buying a swimsuit that is cinched. Here’s a trusty tutorial just for you. And if you fuck it up, who cares? It was free.
3. Cutouts.
Proceed with caution! But also, the suit was free so fuck it. The best way to amp up the sexy is to cut slits down the middle of your suit. You can also cut a deep v, create shoelace holes on either side, and make a DIY lace-up front suit.
4. Throw it away and buy the suit you actually want
If all else fails, say fuck it and splurge on the bikini you’ve had your eyes on. I don’t know give this one away as a birthday gift..
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Blue-eyed-blondie
Blondie excels at being an underachiever. She is currently trying to add an extra year onto her undergrad so she can continue to down $7 bottles of wine in an environment that encourages her erratic behavior. After graduation, she has big plans to flunk out of a prestigious law school. Email her compliments and Netflix suggestions at blue.eyed.blondie.tsm@gmail.com EDIT** if you suggest Black Mirror she's already seen it. So stop suggesting it. Seriously. Please stop suggesting it.
@Blondie_tsm
