Self-confidence is all the rage right now. Feeling good in your skin, rockin’ whatever style you love, and posting selfies like it’s not a totally embarrassing and vain pastime. Feeling good about exactly who you are is awesome. But guess what? Because no matter what we do we can’t have nice things, there’s a catch. Of-fucking-course.
It turns out, the better, hotter, and more awesome you think you are, the higher your chances are of dying alone. Yay.
According to The Wall Street Journal, a whole bunch of studies were done to see about our dating habits, and it. is. terrifying. When it comes to a happily ever after, it all rests in the deal breakers.
From The Wall Street Journal:
In a series of six studies published together online in October in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, researchers from Western Sydney University, Indiana University, the University of Florida, Singapore Management University and Rutgers University discovered that women have more deal breakers than men, most likely because the stakes are higher for them; they are the ones who get pregnant, so it is crucial that they are picky enough to choose a mate who is capable of helping them successfully raise that child.
The studies also showed that people who consider themselves a good catch have more deal breakers. And everyone has more deal breakers when considering a long-term relationship rather than a short-term one.
So, so far this is what we know:
• People concentrate more on deal breakers than deal makers in relationships.
• Women have more deal breakers than men.
• If you think you’re a “good catch” you probably going to die alone.
So what, exactly are these deal breakers that are tearing happy couples apart?
In one of the studies, 5,541 single U.S. adults were given a list of bad traits. You know, things like being stubborn or not having a sense of humor. Here’s how the 17 negative personal traits broke down:
Top Deal Breakers
• Disheveled
Men: 63%
Women: 71%• Lazy
Men: 60%
Women: 72%• Too Needy
Men: 57%
Women: 69%• No Sense of Humor
Men: 50%
Women: 58%• Lives Far Away (More Than 3 Hours)
Men: 51%
Women: 47%• Bad Sex
Men: 44%
Women: 50%•Lacks Confidence
Men: 33%
Women: 47%•Too Much TV/Video Games
Men: 25%
Women: 41%•Low Sex Drive
Men: 39%
Women: 27%•Stubborn
Men: 32%
Women: 34%•Talks Too Much
Men: 26%
Women: 20%•Too Quiet
Men: 11%
Women: 17%
So yeah. That’s a lot to take in. Basically, guys don’t want a girl who talks too much, is needy, and has a low sex drive. Shocking. And girls? Well, we basically hate a lot of things. The studies say that people have more deal breakers when it comes to long term relationships, but no matter what, we all pay more attention to the things we don’t like about a someone as opposed to the things that make him great.
What does this mean? That we should settle? That we should stop being so picky? That you need to cool it on being a raging bitch? I’m not sure. But the next time you’re sitting on the couch with take out containers all around you, your hand down your pants, and tears streaming down your face because he won’t call you back, just ask yourself:
• “Is it really that big of a deal if he likes playing Call of Duty?”
• “Do I appreciate the good things he does?”
• and finally, “Do I think I’m really pretty?”
If you answered “yes” to any of those, consider reevaluating your standards before you accept a lifetime of loneliness and a whole bunch of cats..
[via The Wall Street Journal]
Image via Shutterstock
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Rachel Varina
(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.
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