Like the rest of America, my love/hate relationship with Taylor Swift has been more volatile over time than my actual relationship (and trust me, that’s saying something). Sometimes she’s our darling, dropping new breakup tunes that we can scream and cry to while we drive past our ex-boyfriends’ apartments and consider burning them to the ground. In these instances, Taylor validates our feelings and makes it feel like arson might actually be an underreaction, and for that, I truly have to thank this woman. On the other hand, Tay’s been known to pull obnoxious, bitchy stunts like giving “donations” and “gifts” in the amount of $1,989, essentially poorly attempting to disguise marketing for her album as charity. While I’ve been back and forth on my feelings several times, I have to say that I think Taylor’s finally earned my loyalty with her new move, which was the most petty of all.
If you’ve been keeping up with the Taylor Swift/Katy Perry feud, first of all, get out of 2012 already and start keeping up with current events, ok? But second, it’s clear that these two love the media attention so much that they can’t just let it die and are keeping this struggling relationship alive, not dissimilar to other couples like Jordan Rogers and Jojo Fletcher. Five years later, this drama is still continuing because while Katy Perry’s new album just dropped today, guess what else did? Taylor Swift’s entire music backlog on all streaming services. That’s right – not only can you now listen to 1989 on Spotify, but you can listen to every song all the way back to “Teardrops on my Guitar” (which, lol) on every streaming service including Pandora, Amazon, and Tidal, if you still even have that subscription after binging Lemonade to your heart’s content. This attempt to absolutely bury Katy’s new music by getting all of her tween fans to stream her unlimited music is the most petty move of all, and honestly, I’m all about it.
Tay, I haven’t always been a fan of your antics, especially when they’ve been snaky or shady, but this is just outright petty and I love it so much. You could have dropped all of this music three weeks ago when artist compensation for streaming services changed, but instead you waited until today as one more “fuck you” to the tiniest slight that happened five years ago. From every girl who’s ever sent a subtweet, “accidentally” posted in the wrong group chat, or liked a fat photo from 3 years ago just to let you know that we’re always watching, this move just cemented your status as Queen of the Petty, and I’m officially on #TeamSwift. Tay, if you’re reading this and need a break from recording new music, feel free to hit me up – I’ve been meaning to get caught up on passive aggressively liking photos of my boyfriend’s ex’s tiny new engagement ring, and I feel like you, me, and a bottle of rosé would make for a great Friday night..
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RecruitmentChairTSM
RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at RecruitChairTSM@gmail.com
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