Male Birth Control Is So Close To Becoming A Thing


As the saying goes, “it’s better to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.” However, when it comes to birth control, women are expected to pretty much cover that one on our own. And I get it, girls are more responsible, girls are smarter, ect, but I am sick of it. I’m tired of having to pick between the MANY options available to me as a woman because they all suck.

I can choose the pill and almost guarantee myself to become pregnant because I’m not even responsible enough to shower every day, let alone remember to take the pill. I could choose the patch and announce to the whole world that I’m doing the dirty. I guess I could do the shot if one day I magically stop being terrified of needles. Then there’s the NuvaRing, for when you decide having a penis up there just is not enough. And finally, the IUD, for when you want your doctor to know that you get around now, and you don’t plan on curbing that lifestyle anytime soon.

But when it comes to guys, birth control is really limited. They try to get out of using condoms any chance they get, or they have to give up the thought of babies all together with a vasectomy. But not anymore! Come one, come all to experience the all new male birth control — that is not yet available to buy. Oh, you thought this was going to be a feel-good article? Life doesn’t work that way, unfortunately.

Echo-V is the birth control we can force our boyfriends into getting hopefully within the next five years. The nifty little device is injected right into your man’s sweet spot of a ball sack to fight off sperm like you fight back tears when he likes a bitch’s Insta. The great thing about the Echo-V is that it is temporary, so you can enjoy your guilt free sex now, and your alimony beautiful children later.

The downside? They haven’t quite figured out how “temporary” temporary is yet. If you were to get this done and ask how long until your boyfriend starts squirting out baby juice again, your doctor’s response would be something along the lines of “LOL IDK.”

Not only that but the cost is a little high, as in you’re looking at something close to $700. But $700 is a small price to pay when you can take your much needed antibiotics without deactivating your birth control. Go science!

At the end of the day, if and when this comes out, I don’t think it will really make that much of a difference. Guys can’t allow anything that is not a tongue near their balls, let alone something that they will fuck with their manhood- even if it’s in a good way. Oh well, I guess we’ll see in five years.

[via Cosmopolitan]

Image via Shutterstock

Email this to a friend


Blondie excels at being an underachiever. She is currently trying to add an extra year onto her undergrad so she can continue to down $7 bottles of wine in an environment that encourages her erratic behavior. After graduation, she has big plans to flunk out of a prestigious law school. Email her compliments and Netflix suggestions at [email protected] EDIT** if you suggest Black Mirror she's already seen it. So stop suggesting it. Seriously. Please stop suggesting it.

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

New Stories

Load More