I love recruitment. I love everything about it. The makeup, the hair, the chants, the skits, literally everything. As soon as I was a new member, I knew I wanted to be a part of the Recruitment Team. I emailed our Head of Recruitment and asked if there was anything I could do to help. She ended up putting me in charge of my very own round during the week. I took that as my time to shine and completely revolutionized how we had been doing it. I turned it into every PNM’s favorite day of recruitment. Our retention numbers for that day went up almost 20 percent that year. So yeah, I slayed it.
The following year, I was again put in charge of the same round. I tweaked a few things that needed fixing, but where I really contributed was in our pre-recruitment marketing department. I designed, planned, choreographed, styled, and filmed an amazing pre-recruitment video. I devoted my life to recruitment and everyone could tell that I was made to bring girls into our chapter. To say I was the best possible choice for Head of Recruitment would be an understatement.
Going into voting, I thought I had it in the bag. No other girl had close to the experience I had, and they most definitely did not have the impact I had had on our recruiting. I was so sure I was going to be voted, that I had already started mentally picking a team of sisters to work beneath me.
Then, it happened. Some other girl won. She was nice, she had some experience, and in all honesty, she’ll probably do a pretty good job. But the reason she won, the reason she beat me, the reason she landed the position I was made for wasn’t because she was more qualified than I was. It’s because she was non-threatening.
I spent about a week after voting being pissed, thinking that I didn’t get it because I was direct and I didn’t sugarcoat things. I thought people just couldn’t handle the truth. I thought they were being petty. But then I actually starting listening to what girls were saying about me in cons.
“Intimidating. Can’t compromise. Thinks her ideas are the best. Can be a little rude sometimes.”
It took me some time to come to the realization; I’m not direct, I’m a bitch. I’m not honest, I’m harsh. I’m not blunt, I’m mean. So often, whenever we don’t get what we want, we are quick to blame other people. How often have we used the excuse of “It’s all politics” when we don’t get a position or chair that we want? Maybe it’s time we listen to what people are saying, because as much as we want to be all “IDGAF” and not care what people think, that doesn’t give you the right to be a cunt. There is a very real difference between speaking your mind and insulting people just because.
It’s time we stop blaming others and instead look at ourselves. As a result of being passed over for a position I was most deserving of, I was given an opportunity to truly look at myself as others see me. It was a huge learning experience, and I have been working to change. If I had not been passed over for an Exec position, I have no doubt that I would’ve turned into the tyrannical bitch everyone hates. Now, I’m learning the difference between being a bitch and being honest, and the appropriate times not to GAF versus the times when fucks are to be given.
So to all my sisters who voted for the other girl, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for changing my outlook, thank you for helping me become more self-aware, and mostly, thank you for not voting me onto Exec..