So, I Still Don’t Think Kylie Jenner Is Pregnant

So, I Still Don't Think Kylie Jenner Is Pregnant

It’s felt like millennia at this point since the rumors of Kylie Jenner’s pregnancy began. After the youngest sister of the clan officially broke the internet, everyone started to speculate: who’s the father? Is she Kim and Kanye’s surrogate? Will the baby have its own lip kit? However, just as Kylie was about to solidify her title as the most important sister at present, another member of the klan swooped in to steal (or at least split) TMZ’s attention.

Just a few days after it was announced that Kylie was allegedly pregnant, an almost identical story came out about her older, half-sister Khloé. With now three daughters supposedly producing more money, attention, and grandchildren (in that order), I could practically hear Kris Jenner popping champagne before running to the bank.

However, the sisters, particularly Khloé and Kylie, have been oddly quiet lately, especially for girls who were seemingly unable to go an hour without posting at least one lip-syncing car snap. When the duo have gone on their respective social media platforms, they have been nothing short of sneaky. For anyone questioning Kylie’s intelligence, take a minute to question the last time you saw her in something other than an oversized hoodie reserved exclusively for hangovers and walks of shame in the real world. And for someone who’s entire brand is based on sex appeal, when was the last time we saw her damn torso? Coincidence? I think not. Which is exactly what she wants us to think.

The reportedly pregnant duo went onto Khloé’s Snapchat, and posted something so glaringly obvious that they might as well have sent it right to the tabloids themselves. During a video shoot for Kylie Cosmetic’s Youtube channel, Khloé posted a Snapchat video talking about how she was “twinning” with her baby sister.

C’mon, girls. You both have had enough experience in the spotlight (ten years, to be exact) to know that the world would not think about your identical, bleach blonde hair when you reference “twinning.” And so, I’m left to conclude this is nothing more than teasing, so we continue to watch every move they make for all eternity. This is hardly the first time the Kardashians have left the internet speculating on whether or not news about them is true. However, usually they officially confirm or deny the news within a few days, and promptly move onto the next scandal. To hold out for weeks is just ridiculous, and frankly…off brand. The fact that “Kylie Jenner pregnant” has now been searched more times on my computer than the link to my crush’s Facebook is unheard of.

Here’s what I’m speculating: no one is actually pregnant. If they both were, we would have moved on to pregnancy photo shoots more over-the-top than Beyoncé’s, an E! exclusive tell-all and a Twitter poll for the baby’s name. Khloé, and more specifically, Kylie, knows that these nine months could be her real moment to shine. If there really was a baby bump under all of those oversized sweaters, she would be milking it for all it was worth, which being a Kardashian is probably somewhere in the millions. The only reason she’d let the rumors swirl without confirming or denying, is because they aren’t true, but she wants to keep all eyes on her for the foreseeable future.


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Hiding from my mother and standards, both of whom would disown me if they heard most of these stories. Aspiring law school student, with a chihuahua named Bruiser and a head of unnatural blonde hair. Email me your "crazy" stories or any mixed drink recipes that taste like juice, but have copious amounts of vodka in them at [email protected] Watch the bitch behind these stories at:

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