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The 2014 Formal Date Mock Draft

Warren Terrio

Warren Teerio

Year: Junior

Hometown: Morristown, N.J.
House: Top Tier Athletes
Major: Business Administration

GPA: 3.1
Hair Color: Dirty Blond
Height: 5’11”
Weight: 180

Pros:
• Will make you pee yourself from laughter
• Played varsity football all four years of high school
• “Cleans up well” doesn’t begin to cover it
• Great dancer, and will dance the entire night, even if you don’t
• He’s known to give endless compliments with a couple drinks in him

Cons:
• Can be aggressive if he has more than a few drinks
• When he blacks out, there is a 90 percent chance he will vomit everywhere
• Tells the same joke over and over again, usually because he’s too drunk to remember he said it
• Has grown a little bit of a beer gut since his high school days

Projected: Early Third Round

Outlook: Warren Terrio is damn glad to be on this list, and he would like it to be known that he knows where the best seat in the house is (don’t fall for it). Due to his humor, experience in making any situation a grand ol’ time, and above average looks, he could make an argument of going in the second round. However, his inability to close and drunken grabby nature will hinder that from happening.

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Hakuna Moscato

Hakuna Moscato (@HakunaMoscato) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. and Post Grad Problems. A born and raised Maryland girl, she's obsessed with the Baltimore Ravens, Old Bay, and anything that has the Maryland flag pattern on it. She's a newly retired student-athlete and sorority girl, but not quite ready to call herself an adult, especially since she still has to be carried out of bars. With a Long Island in hand, she's ready for whatever life is throwing her way. Maybe.

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