Thomas Burke
Year: Senior
Hometown: Savannah, Ga.
House: Top Tier
Major: Biology
GPA: 3.7
Hair Color: Blond
Height: 6’0”
Weight: 210
Pros:
• Looks great in a bow tie
• Will wear pants or shorts that match your dress
• Guaranteed DFMO
• Going to med school in the fall, wants to be a orthopedic surgeon
Cons:
• Questionable past hookups
• He has more negative hashtags than positive hashtags on Lulu
• Will possibly wear more hair product than you do
• Once referred to himself as a frat star–without being ironic.
Projected: First Round, Fourth Overall Pick
Outlook: He’s gorgeous and smart. His body is bangin’, his face is cute, and, as mentioned, he looks great in a bow-tie. His questionable hookup history makes him go fourth overall instead of first, but Thomas is not deterred by this. As long as he keeps quiet about the tally notches on his bedpost, he’ll be a first round pick.
Nice Move305
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Hakuna Moscato
Hakuna Moscato (@HakunaMoscato) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. and Post Grad Problems. A born and raised Maryland girl, she's obsessed with the Baltimore Ravens, Old Bay, and anything that has the Maryland flag pattern on it. She's a newly retired student-athlete and sorority girl, but not quite ready to call herself an adult, especially since she still has to be carried out of bars. With a Long Island in hand, she's ready for whatever life is throwing her way. Maybe.
@HakunaMoscato
