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The End-All Be-All “American Horror Story” Recap To Prep For The Start Of Season 7

American Horror Story: Hotel (Season 5)

Recap:

The fifth season of American Horror Story focuses on the Downtown Los Angeles Hotel Cortez which has been recently purchased by a New York fashion designer, Will Drake (Cheyenne Jackson). The 90-year-old hotel is haunted by demons and mysterious ghosts including the founder, James Patrick March (Evan Peters); heroin junkie Sally (Sarah Paulson); and the strap-on-wielding Addiction Demon. Staff and residents of the hotel include the 111-year-old “vampire”, Elizabeth/The Countess (Lady Gaga), and her fleeting paramour, the former drug-addict Donovan (Matt Bomer), as well as Donovan’s mother, the manager and front desk clerk Iris (Kathy Bates); the eccentric transgender bartender Liz Taylor (Denis O’Hare); and the Countess’s vengeance-obsessed lover, Ramona Royale (Angela Bassett).

Best Things About Season 5:
• Evan Peters with an accent is one of the best forms of Evan Peters.
• And the seasons actually did start to come together.
• It most likely should have been rated NC-17. No complaints here.
• The setting was easily one of the best of the entire series.
• Lady Gaga wasn’t horrendous and we get to see Queenie from Coven again. She dies, but still.

Worst Things About Season 5:
• Jessica Lange wasn’t in it.
• And while Lady Gaga didn’t suck, she’s no Jessica Lange.
• Oh, what? Evan Peters being a dick? Shocking.
• Did I mention that Jessica Lange wasn’t in it?
• For a scary show based in a hotel, there should have been a better story line.

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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