This DILF Is Hotter Than Your Boyfriend


I have a sweet spot for older men. Though I have made a conscious effort not to actually sleep with any man more than 10 years older than me, the idea of a mysterious, mature, and well dressed older gentleman has always intrigued me. However, there was always a reason to hold back. Older men just always came up short when comparing them to the beautiful frat boys that had always been tried and true. Sure older men may have more maturity than their 20-year-old counterparts, but the boys had energy and spontaneity. Older men were financially stable, but younger guys had abs. Clearly, it is an impossible toss up for anyone who is as shallow as I am.

But then, the heavens opened up and God sent us the end all be all DILF — Dan Wells. And let’s just say his adorable children won’t be the only ones calling him daddy from here on out. Not convinced? Check out his Instagram game.

A photo posted by Dan Wells (@officialdanwells) on

A photo posted by Dan Wells (@officialdanwells) on

Oh yeah, that just happened. This is the incredible result of one man’s journey from Chubtown to Babesville. In his twenties, Wells’ father died from a heart attack, which motivated him to get off his ass and get his heart pumping. And look at that, he’s gotten my heart racing a little bit, too.

After Wells decided to get his abs, he dove head first into that life. He quit his job to become a personal trainer and started doing CrossFit competitions. I know, I know. CrossFit is for pussies, but this guy somehow just makes it work. And in all honesty, I think I would be able to look past the embarrassing work out method should we ever get together. Which, by the way, is a very possibility seeing as we have so much in common.

He can squat 350lbs, I cry 350 tears thinking about squatting. He eats his meals that are delivered by Power Supply (a paleo delivery service), I eat my meals that are delivered by Dominoes (a pizza delivery service). Haters will say it’s just a coincidence, but I know it was meant to be. Plus, in the interview, he told Buzzfeed, he’ll drink “a tequila or three” when he goes out drinking. Which, again, is the exact same I needed as a freshman to get a good buzz. Honestly, I believe if Wells and I could get into a room together, our eyes would meet, he’d triple his alcohol intake, and I would slowly morph into a “maybe.” And that’s good enough for me.

[via Buzzfeed]

Image via Instagram

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Blondie excels at being an underachiever. She is currently trying to add an extra year onto her undergrad so she can continue to down $7 bottles of wine in an environment that encourages her erratic behavior. After graduation, she has big plans to flunk out of a prestigious law school. Email her compliments and Netflix suggestions at [email protected] EDIT** if you suggest Black Mirror she's already seen it. So stop suggesting it. Seriously. Please stop suggesting it.

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