RIP to all the jewelry I’ve lost or broken while drunk. TSM.

Frat queen, not trap queen. TSM.

The condition of your iPhone being a good indication of how your life is going. TSM.

Vodka might not be the answer, but it’s always worth a shot. TSM.

Changing his name in your phone to “YOU DON’T LIKE HIM.” TSM.

Smuggling cheap beer in an expensive bag. TSM.