No ugly friends. TSM.

Managing to get a shack shirt even though you slept naked. TSM.

The number of bruises you find Monday morning directly correlating to how good your weekend was. TSM.

Going to a fraternity date function with a guy you don’t like to improve relations with the guys you do like. TSM.

“I have to stare at myself a lot. It’s part of my getting ready process.” TSM.

Putting alcohol in your chaser. TSM.

Going home with your ex just to make sure nobody else does. TSM.

Having hair so flawless it has a nickname. TSM.

2 shots, 1 chaser. TSM.

Never having a one-night stand because they ALWAYS come back for seconds. TSM.