Leaving a note reading “I’m back” in place of a stolen composite. TSM.

I like you better when I’m wasted. TSM.

Undress to impress. TSM.

Using themed parties as an excuse to go shopping. TSM.

Stocking up on craft supplies for a snow storm. TSM.

Always being one step ahead of standards. TSM.

Inventing the perfect boyfriend when an old high school flame asks if you’re seeing anyone. TSM.